Oddjob stories
by Sororita
Summary: this is a repository of Naruto story ideas that I have, but that don't think I'll be able to flesh out.
1. Chapter 1

This is a place to store random story ideas that I get, this one will be for Naruto and crossovers that involve Naruto.

This first chapter was conceived because of the fact that Teuchi can be translated to "making noodles by hand" or "to kill using only one's hands." and the fact that he kind of looks like one of Minato's genin team-mates.

I do these for my own, and others, entertainment, I do not make any money, nor do I own anything posted in this story.

=0o0o0=

Teuchi watched Naruto grumbling about his Sensei to Ayame. He sighed, Kakashi was a good ninja, but he was just no right for a teaching position. Naruto was a sponge for techniques and moves if one had the patience to show it step by step. The kid needed to be shown and not told. Much like he had needed, actually, and His teacher before him, Jiraiya. He made the decision to train Naruto, since the kid's actual sensei was busy trying to train his other student. Teuchi could actually understand why Kakashi did it; Sasuke was going up against a VERY unstable jinchuriki, one that was very likely to kill him, whereas Naruto's opponent was probably only going to try to humiliate Naruto. Granted it was still bad, but a person can recover from that.

Breaking away from his thoughts Teuchi announced, "Sounds like you could use a good teacher, Naruto. How'd you like me to give you some lessons?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "eh, no thanks Teuchi-Ji, I don't think making ramen would help a whole lot against Neji."

"Naruto, you do know that I was a ninja once. I was even a teammate of the Yondaime. I only retired and opened this place after Ayame's mother died and I needed to take care of her."

Naruto brightened up a lot, "You were a teammate of the Yondaime's?! I bet you could teach me all kinds of super cool jutsu and how to beat Neji in like two moves..." he lost himself daydreaming.

"Naruto, Naruto, Earth to Naruto!" Teuchi was waving his hand in front of Naruto's face, once the blond started paying attention again, "I never used that many Jutsu that was usually Minato's area of expertise, I was all about unarmed combat, I have a few techniques that will help, but you need to have already learned to walk on water to use them properly."

Naruto's face dropped, "I only know the tree climbing exercise."

"not to worry, I can teach you, it's after the lunch rush, so I can give you a hand." he formed a few hand seals and water from the sink in back splashed out to form a clone of him. Then he pulled out a seal and slapped it onto the back of the water clone. "He can take care of the shop with Ayame; it's only a water clone so I'll need to make it back before the dinner rush though."

Naruto scrunched up his face, "that's because they're only a tenth your strength, speed and such, right?" surprised he remembered that tidbit from his run in with the missing-nin known as Zabuza.

Teuchi hid his surprise well, "Yeah, that's right. My clone won't be able to keep up with the dinner rush, and I can't fit more in here to help. Let's get started, I know of a good training ground, nice cool spring to motivate you."

Naruto finished off the bowl he was on and gave the Teuchi clone his money then jumped up. "Yosh! Let's get going I only have a month to get to the point where I can take Neji in a fair fight."

Teuchi shook his head, "who ever said you had to fight fair Naruto? You're a ninja, deception and feints are the bread and butter of Shinobi battles. The only unfair advantage is the one you don't have. Keep that in mind, I've seen more than a handful of people die because they got cocky and wanted to humiliate their opponent, or gave up an advantage because they felt the need to announce themselves. Hell, I lost a teammate because she wanted to have a fair fight with an Iwa-nin that didn't understand the concept." he then started to lead a pensive Naruto towards the training grounds.

0o0o0

"Now, Naruto, the main part of this technique is to expel chakra from your feet rather than just hold it there. I'd imagine you'll find this technique both easier and harder than tree-climbing. I'll show you how I do it and then bring you out to the middle of the spring and hold you so just your feet are in the water so you can slowly experiment with the amount needed." Naruto nodded and assumed a look of concentration that Teuchi rarely saw on the blond.

Teuchi took a few steps slowly putting his feet down as he walked making sure Naruto could see what the water as doing as his feet touched the water. After a few minutes Teuchi walked back up to Naruto and helped him onto the water.

Naruto put some weight on his feet, feeling resistance he became ecstatic, then Teuchi let go. It held for a split second then Naruto sank like a stone. After a second of splashing around Teuchi plucked Naruto from the frigid spring. "Ha! Jiraiya was right, that is funny. Naruto, that was good for a first try. Minato took a week to learn, and he was considered a prodigy among prodigies. We'll try again, and keep in mind the cold water waiting to embrace you should you not succeed." Naruto nodded and tried again, and again, and again.

0o0o0

The training schedule went like that, with Teuchi helping him with his training in the mornings and between the lunch and dinner rushes. At the end of the first week Naruto had shown no improvements whatsoever, Teuchi needed to find out what was wrong, there should have been at least some improvement. Then he thought it might be something to do with the seal, he remembered Naruto mentioning getting hit in the stomach by a creepy snake guy then passing out.

Once at the training ground for the morning Teuchi explained, "Oi, I think there might be a problem with you seal that's messing up your control. Lift your shirt and mold some chakra, I need to see something." Naruto did as told and Teuchi examined the seal for a bit, "Hmm, it seems that the pedophile applied a five elements seal over top of the eight trigrams seal, sloppy work, but effective if he was trying to do what I think he was. Hold still and tense your abs as hard as you can, this'll hurt, but it should help your control immensely." Naruto did as asked, he trusted Teuchi almost as much as the Hokage, considering how much he looked out for him as a kid.

With a quick thrust of his hand Teuchi removed the seal Orochimaru had applied in the forest and Naruto was on the ground trying to regain his breath. "Sorry about that Naruto, I know it hurt, but that was the only way I know to remove it. Once you're up for it we'll try water walking again, I think you'll find a marked improvement."

He did, he still couldn't do much more than stand, but at least he had that down. "Yatta! I did it!" he jumped, and promptly fell through the surface of the water again.

Teuchi chuckled and fished him out. "Ok, now I'm going to leave you here and once you can walk from the middle of the spring to the edge we can start your training in my techniques. Oh, and a hint, you can use your hands the same was as your feet to push yourself up to stand back on top of the water.

Naruto nodded, and promptly lost his concentration falling back in. he was able to climb back on top by himself though. Teuchi nodded and said, "Alright Naruto I need to get back to the ramen stand, make it to the edge without falling in once and I'll give you a free super-deluxe when you get to the stand, if you can't get it by lunch, just swim to the edge and come over to the stand for a nutritious vegetable ramen.

0o0o0

It had taken the whole weekend with Naruto working his ass off, but he had managed to get to the edge on his own power and gotten that delicious super-deluxe. Today found him in the field next to the spring with Teuchi showing him a couple moves.

"Ok, you have a brawler type fighting style, it's effectiveness is based on strength, speed, and how well you can take a hit. Now I know you are pretty high up there with all three, but I'm going to teach you a technique I used to use that upped the amount of force I could apply and how hard I had to be hit before I was actually hurt. Zuutai no Oki Ken!" an aura of green chakra erupted from him, formed into a larger humanoid shape around him then his muscles bulged, making him look a lot stronger than a ramen vendor had any right to be. "I had to develop it myself, with a little help from Minato and Jiraiya. The only drawback is that you can't really use weapons with this activated, the force applied breaks them more often than not."

Naruto was amazed and ecstatic, this was an awesome move.

Teuchi did a couple demonstrations of the technique, ripping a tree up by its roots then throwing it the entire length of the training ground, casually crushing a boulder with a punch. At that point he let it drop and staggered a bit, "Whew that really takes it out of you. I forgot just how draining that was. That is definitely another drawback, it requires a ton of chakra to keep it going, I'd suggest either keeping it in reserve and saving a good chunk of chakra to use it when you really need it or pull it out first thing and overwhelm your opponent before they can do anything." He already knew which one Naruto was inclined to use. "Now this is how you start to use it…"

The day went on with Naruto absorbing all that Teuchi had to teach him

0o0o0

The day of the Finals was upon them, all the foreigners in the village tended to make the ninja twitchy, but the civilians were happy and selling lots of food and souvenirs, Teuchi was among the ones that had a food cart set up selling to all the tourist when a man with white hair and a distinct fashion showed up, "Hey Chi-kun, long time no see."

"Bah, that's a lie, and you know it, don't think I didn't notice you hanging around our training ground while I was teaching Naruto. What do you want Sensei?"

Jiraiya replied, "I can't check up on one of my old students from time to time? It looks like you are doing well at least; I have to say I'm jealous that you got to train Naruto. I was supposed to before you grabbed him. I like the move you taught him, it should work out well, and I think it'll give him better control of the cloak he'll get once he gets control of It."

"Yeah, I suppose it might, it should also shut that Hyuuga boy down instantly, I found out a few years after I invented it that it repels chakra like it does water, gentle fist is worthless against it. Boy were they pissed when I found that out, I got ordered to never teach it to anyone outside of family, and well you know how me and Minato became blood brothers, so he's technically a nephew of mine." He grinned.

"That's pretty tricky; you know that we'll have to reveal his parentage to get away with it though?"

"I counted on it, I know that boy deserves better than he got and I think it is high time he got his birthright, you know that the deception is paper thin, and most of the other villages already know, they're just humoring the old man."

Jiraiya hummed, "Yeah, it's pretty obvious that he's Minato and Kushina's; hell he has Uzumaki as his family name, couldn't be that much more obvious without actually naming the kid Junior."

=0o0o0=

Well there's the first chapter, I have an idea rattling around for a time loop type story and a minecraft crossover that'll both be up eventually, hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

here is the next chapter for my random Naruto plot bunny story.

I do not own, nor would presume to own, the manga Naruto or it's derivative official works.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The day had come that they had graduated, but hear they were, hanging out waiting for the man who was going to be their sensei to arrive, the only problem was that he was two and a half hours late. Sakura noticed a sudden change in the demeanor of the dobe and Sasuke. then suddenly Sasuke used a jutsu, when the smoke cleared he was suddenly female and, much to Sakura's angst, more womanly figured than she was.

"WHAT! Sasuke-Kun! why did you do that stupid jutsu of Naruto's?"

Naruto sighed, "I dealt with her last time Teme, you get to this time. you couldn't even wait until after the first meeting to change."

Sasuke waved him off, "Yeah yeah." he(she?) turned to Sakura, "Look I'll explain more when the one-eyed monster gets here, but just know that I used that jutsu for mental health reasons."

Sakura nodded and sat down, Sasuke had just said more to her than he had in her entire life so she decided to just go with it, hoping that she wouldn't have to wait long.

Naruto grumbled, "Why do you always have it so easy dealing with her this early, it's not fair. " then wandered up to the front of the room and took a calligraphy brush from Iruka's, heavy trapped, desk and set about vandalizing the desk in front of him. Sakura stood up to yell at him but was interrupted when he added chakra to the drawings, which now that she had a better look, that looked like seals. the seal flashed and disappeared, in it's place were what looked like two small platoons in roughly the same positions for a game of shogi.

She stopped wondering what the blond was up to. "Naruto, what did you just do?"

"Hm? Oh, its a seal I designed to create a Game genjutsu, or as I like to call them gamejutsu, this one is fairly simple, it creates a game of Shogi and won't allow you to make illegal moves so a beginner can pick up the game faster. an aptitude for sealing was practically written into my DNA so it was super easy to pick up and learn."

Sakura's jaw dropped from hearing the class clown say something so, so, so not dumb, plus the fact that he had just drawn up a seal that she was sure would require a seal master to make. she just sat down while her world view seemed to crumble. Sasuke, meanwhile was moving to sit in front of the little display to start playing against the blond. "I think you broke her dobe."

"I did not Teme, it was you going all girly in front of her that did it."

Sasuke just huffed and made his first move.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Kakashi, once he decided to show up, was greeted by the sight of Naruto and a girl he would swear was an Uchiha fighting on the floor while the pink haired girl watched with a look of horror on her face. deciding to get the story first then break up the fight he scooted up next to the rosette and asked, "What happened and whats with the black haired girl?"

Sakura continued to stare at the fighters, "The girl is Sasuke, he wouldn't tell me why he used Naruto's stupid jutsu and the fight broke out a little bit ago when I pointed out that one of the moves that he did was illegal in shogi and they just started fighting over it."

With nothing else to do Kakashi walked offer and picked the two kid up by the backs of their shirts and jerked them like towels to get there attention, "Good now that I have your attention we are going to have a chat about teams and why you are of a feminine persuasion right now."

"Both kids still a little stunned from being used like towel rat tails did little to stop him form heading out the door, Sakura quickly followed behind.

Once at the roof and both aggressors sat at either ends of the bench, and Sakura splitting them further by setting in the middle, Kakashi said, "Explain now, or I'm going to send little miss sunshine to the hospital to get checked out, you blonde to the Hokage to explain why he taught Sasuke such a move, after it had been clearly labeled a forbidden technique."

Sasuke started her explanation, "I'd rather be a sane woman, than a crazy male. and before you ask, no I'm not transgender, Sharingan is carried on the Y chromosome, so as a female I don't, can't, have it."

Kakashi was even more confused, and a little worried for himself, "What are you implying?"

Naruto answered, "She's saying that the Sharingan causes the person who has it to become an obsessive, delusional, violent sociopath, not to mention nuttier than squirrel shit."

Sasuke added, "You don't have to worry, the Sharingan triggers a special hormone release in natural owners that causes a chemical imbalance in the brain, you don't have the proper genetic quirk for it to cause it in you. it's actually a pretty common thing among doujutsu users, most can get treatment for it or they go through special emotional dampening training from a young age to limit the cause of it. though sometimes it just causes them to snap the other way, like my brother. I don't want to end up a sociopath, and my good friend here happens to have a jutsu that can create completely real transformations, the dis-spell for this technique is actually just casting it again to the body I was born with by the way, I figured why be a sociopath when I could just be a lesbian. I mean yeah it took a little getting used to being a woman, but after all the time I've spent as one I figure I'm more than a little hazy on that particular supposed binary."

Processing it all fairly quickly for that kind of info dump, Kakashi replied, "Ooookaaaay... what do you mean by time spent, according to pinky here you just changed an hour or so ago, and how do you know all that stuff?"

Naruto answered for the Uchiha, "Oh it's simple, time keeps on looping us back to this day after either of us dies. I don't know why or how, but it's fairly useful for finding out all kinds of secrets, Kakashi-Nii, Dad told me once that he thought of you as a son, and hoped that I'd see you as a brother."

That shook the usually unflappable man, his eye narrowed, "OK, now you have my attention."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

There we go, another chapter, I'll probably fill this one out later, the premise is that Naruto and Sasuke are stuck together almost a law of the universe they both must be together, in this case as siblings, when one dies the universe resets to the time there fates became intertwined. if they both died at the same exact moment the loops would end, but they don't know that, and they have been in them so long that they have kind of given up hope of ever ending them, so they just kinda dick around now. Oh and I do realize there is one female Uchiha that was shown with the Sharingan in the anime, but I'm ignoring that. Also my spell checker keeps trying to change Sasuke to Sapsucker, and Uchiha to chihuahua.


End file.
